Scared About Separation?
I have to admit, this has never crossed my mind. I am happily married to someone I started dating in high school. We have so many things in common and our fights are few and far between. And we don’t go to bed “angry” with one another.
But for 50% of married couples (more by some estimates) the marriage relationship ends. I think I’d be a little overwhelmed by a number of things. These things include:
What would my friends and family think? Both my wife and I come from families with pretty traditional ideas about marriage and family. You simply work it out. Find a way. Make it work. They generally didn’t have options to split because their parents would have been mortified. Unless it was an extremely bad situation, divorce would have been frowned upon.
So, for me, I’d wonder what they’d think.
My friends fall into a different situation because I have many friends who have divorced their spouse. Some of them twice. But then I’d wonder if it would be awkward for them. Who gets invited to a party or not might become something they’d have to deal with.
Then there’s our son: how would he feel about this? We sure wouldn’t want him to take sides, but what a pain the holidays would be. I can’t imagine how parents deal with this, and I am glad I don’t have to.
Of course, there’s money. Having to deal with that would be such a pain given we have several businesses and own multiple properties. The costs to sort all that out would be high.
There are good resources for people going through separation and divorce. Some of them include:
TalkingParents – a co-parenting communication app for parents, allowing them to summarize all communications with each other in a snap. Courts really appreciate having everything in one spot.
Best Co-Parenting Communication Tools for Child Custody | TalkingParents
Make Lemonade – a great book for someone who has been recently divorced. It’s written from a woman’s perspective, but the lessons apply equally to men and women.
Make Lemonade: Thrive through Divorce by Transforming Your Life: Robertson, Alicia: 9781774582084: Books - Amazon.ca
Sepr8.com – is a bias-free appraisal service company that gives customers a quick idea about their property’s value. This is a quick way to get values on homes, cottages and small rental properties. Currently serving Canada, they will enter the USA in the coming months.
www.Sepr8.com
Experts: Therapists, Lawyers and Financial Planners – it’s important to get advice from experts during this time, and get the emotional support required to make the process as smooth as possible. Emotions can run high during divorce, and it’s a good idea to have experts in your corner to keep you grounded in reality and give support where needed.
Mortgage Advice – When I was a mortgage broker, I helped a lot of couples with the “sale” of their home. Either one person bought the other out, or they sold the matrimonial home and bought other properties individually. Today, my wife Sandra owns that business and does a great job for people going through divorce. While specializing in mortgages in Ontario, she can help connect you to an expert anywhere in Canada.
Learn About Our Company and Our Team | Skip The Bank
I admit, these things are easier to write about then they are to experience. My hope is that anyone who goes through this has the best outcomes possible. Contact us if you’re looking for an introduction to any of the professionals above.
As Alicia Robertson says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!”